Bald Bus Bouncers

So, March came without any major changes. Like I said, my Monday started out pretty normal. On the way to class that night, however, I realized that it was in fact a new month. Meaning, I had to go to the travel place and get a new month-long pass for the buses. Oh well, I can do it tomorrow after class. No worries.

I had been told that there was a pretty steep fine for people who rode the buses without a ticket or a pass. Getting ready on Tuesday morning, I was thinking, “Watch the little bus police come around this morning when I haven’t had a chance to get my pass. That would be just my luck.”

In case you didn’t know, I have terrible luck.

I board my bus as usual. No bus policeman roaming the aisle checking tickets. At least, I assumed there wasn’t one. I didn’t know what they would look like exactly. Uniform? Donut belly? All official and the like? Well, I sat down and no one interrogated me about my bus pass. So that must be a good sign.

We get halfway there, and the bus stops at this pretty random stop. People get on here sometimes, but more often or not they are getting off. So this bald-headed guy steps on in a uniform. Okay, uniform…doesn’t necessarily mean anything, Anna. Don’t freak out. He starts joking around with the bus driver, so I think, “oh, he must just be a regular.” I think that, until I see people in front of me start pulling out their tickets.

Crap. He is a regular. He regularly checks the tickets. The bus police!

Why was today the day I decided to actually sit in the front of the bus instead of the back? Fan-freaking-tastic. In my head I start coming up with all these crazy plans to avoid a fine.

Slowly move to the back of bus? No he’ll eventually go back there anyways.

Pretend my iPod is turned up too loud to hear him? He’ll just tap me on the shoulder or something.

Pretend I’m blind and I don’t know he’s there? Forgot my sunglasses today.

Make it obvious that I’m foreign and blonde and convince him that I don’t know what is going on? Yeah. That’s sounds like the best plan.

So he makes his way over, and looks at me. I kinda look around the bus, and pretend to realize, “Oh, he wants my bus pass.” I give it to him, picture side up (the duration of the pass is on the other side), but he flips it around. Dang, he’s good. He looks at the expiration date, and back up to me. He doesn’t look very nice. I ask him in English, “What’s the problem?” He motions at the date on my pass. I look at it and back at him. “Oh!” I say. “I’m getting a new one today! I promise!” I try to use my hands to motion ‘today,’ but he just looked at me very strictly and moved down the aisle.

I breathe a sigh of relief. That was close. I don’t know how expensive those tickets are, but I didn’t want one. After class, straight to the travel agency. No kidding around. I get off the bus as quickly as I could when it stopped at the University. I didn’t want him changing his mind and finding me to give me a ticket.

After class I make my way to the bus stop. I get on the bus, trying to figure out how I’m going to ask the ladies at the travel agency for a new month-long pass. The bus stops at the most random place on the road.

And then I see it. A bald head crossing the street towards the bus. You have GOT to be kidding me.

It was my friend, the bus policeman. I doubted that I could convince him to let me off the hook again, but I had to try. He comes down the aisle stopping at me seat. I really thought he would recognize me, blonde hair, pink jacket and all. Only when he looked at my pass and flipped it over did he appear to recognize me. “Now,” I told him in English. “I’m going to get a new pass now.”

He looked at me strictly again, rolled his eyes, and moved on. Seriously? Did I just pull that off? Okay, I’m never letting this happen again. Good luck is never on my side like today.

I go straight to the travel agency, pull out my bus pass, and ask for a new one for March. I even said it in English, but once the lady saw my pass she understood. 5 seconds later she had a March pass printed out, and put into my plastic sleeve. It was that easy? I thought it would take longer than that. I was heading to the main University Office to see Daniela Musa about getting wireless access. There was a straight shot right by the bus stop. But there he was. Bald bus policman. Crap. He could recognize me and write me a ticket after all! I took the stairs that go underneath the piazza. Yes, it added about 3 minutes to my journey, but I avoid HIM.

I make it to the University, bound and determined to do this on my own. But I can’t find Daniela Musa’s office. So I ask a lady at the front of the building, “Parli Inglese?” When she shook her head no, I did the best I could to translate what I was looking for. Another lady tried to come over and help, but had no idea what I was saying either. The first lady just shakes her head and says, “Straniera.” Yes, I told her. That’s exactly what I am: foreigner.

She takes me to the International Office. I should have just come here in the first place. I tell Paola what I need, and she grabs her things and take me there. She is always so ready to help me! When we get to the IT office, we are told to come back at 1:45.

She asks if I would like to go to lunch, and I say I would love to. I’m starving. We go back to the International Office, and Giovanna is coming to lunch with us. However, there was a lot to do, and by the time the ladies were ready for lunch, we only had 15 more minutes before my appointment. Okay. Lunch afterwards.

We go back to the IT center. Just like everything else in Italy, they are running late. We finally get called in around 2:10. I write down my information, and they said to come back at 3:30 with my computer. I don’t understand why they need my computer to give me internet access. Do they have to install some software? I’m not sure that I’m okay with this. Oh well, if it give me Internet, I’ll do it.

Paola, Giovanna and I make our way to a bar down the street for lunch. This is the second bar I’ve been to that is hiding a restaurant in the back. We sit down at the table, and are treated to a WONDERFUL meal by a very sweet lady. I won’t go into the details of my food again, but just like everything else I have eaten here, it was incredible.

Oh, and there was a totally cute guy named Roberto working with the lady. He kept smiling at me, so I would smile back, thinking, “Darn, I wish you spoke English.” The chances of that were slim to none. And I was correct in that thought; he didn’t. Well, he was very nice to look at, and I might just have to stop by the bar to get a sandwich one day.

After we paid and said goodbye to the friendly staff, Paola drove me to my apartment to get my computer. We didn’t leave the restaurant until 3:30, so I was wondering if the IT people were going to be upset at us for being late. Paola didn’t seem too concerned, though. She must be used to Italian time.

Once I grabbed my computer, she took me back to the IT department. We didn’t see anyone, and I was secretly thinking, “See? If we actually show up to places on time, we wouldn’t run into problems like this.”

After about 10 minutes, a guy shows up and gives me my username and password. I try the wireless in the building, and it works perfectly! Hooray! My semester is saved! Apparently that is all I needed my computer for, so I stow it back in its bag, and head back to the International Office with Paola. We tell Rina about our success and Rina copies down all the information in case I lose it. Then she asks if I would like to meet her daughter and speak English with her. I told her I would love to meet her daughter, and Rina said she would e-mail me with details later.

I say my goodbyes and head to the bus stop to catch a bus to the University. It’s an absolutely GORGEOUS day outside; 60-something and sunny. While I was walking, I secretly hoped mean bald-headed bus policeman would be patrolling the bus so I could rub my brand new March pass in his face. But he must have called it a day. It was probably for the best. Rubbing my new pass could have reminded him that I didn’t have it before, equaling a ticket. No thanks.

Once in the University library I open my laptop and log on to the wireless. Oh this is wonderful. Information Technology and Online Design, here I come!